unbelief

Lately I've been reading through scripture and just letting it soak in. I've been reading the same verses over and over again... letting God reveal Himself through them and I'm determined not to move on until I feel like I really understand it.

John 10: 24-39
"The Jews gathered around him, saying, "How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly."
Jesus answered, "I did tell you, but you do not believe. The miracles I do in my Father's name speak for me, but you do not believe because you are not my sheep. My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. I and the Father are one."
Again the Jews picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus said to them, "I have shown you many great miracles from the Father. For which of these do you stone me?"
"We are not stoning you for any of these," replied the Jews, "but for blasphemy, because you, a mere man, claim to be God."
Jesus answered them, "Is it not written in your Law, 'I have said you are gods'? If he called them 'gods,' to whom the word of God came—and the Scripture cannot be broken— what about the one whom the Father set apart as his very own and sent into the world? Why then do you accuse me of blasphemy because I said, 'I am God's Son'? Do not believe me unless I do what my Father does. But if I do it, even though you do not believe me, believe the miracles, that you may know and understand that the Father is in me, and I in the Father." Again they tried to seize him, but he escaped their grasp."

There's so much packed into this, so I'll try to compress it to something semi-short. These verses have crushed me in the past few days in the most amazing way. Here's all the things I've been learning:

1) Just in the first few verses, you see them almost demanding Christ for an answer. "How long will you keep us in suspense? Just tell us plainly..." So many times we demand answers from God and expect Him to just SAY IT! We want to know now. God doesn't work that way. It's not about us. It's not all about us knowing it all. God makes everything beautiful in its own time. Maybe if we took two seconds to stop demanding answers and actually listen... we would hear Him.
2) Jesus' sheep - what an amazing thing. Sheep cling to their shephard and only listen to Him and the shephard can only lead those who follow. He can't force them. But the relationship with His flock cannot be duplicated or fabricated. If we cling to Him, we would be able to know His voice and He can know ours.
3) Jesus says that even if they don't believe in Him that they should believe in His miracles. Gosh that is so true. Sometimes we don't see God and we can't see where He is or what He's doing right then, but it doesn't mean He isn't there. Looking at what He has done in the past and knowing how He is moving in others proves to us that He is real. He is working. He is never absent. In our weakness, we still have the hope of how He is changing lives. We depend so much on seeing God instead of believing in Him.

I've been talking with a couple people about how God has been moving lately. (I'm not going to bore you with all the details...) But this person said, "Amy, you are on the mountain." And although that is amazing to hear and imagine... it really made me think twice. I don't want this to be a mountain. Because that means I have to come down. I realized that this is how God has intended our relationship to be EVERYDAY. This isn't just some high that He wants to take me up to... This is how He wants it all the time. And now it's my job to not faulter and to be diligent and in communication with the Creator of the universe. I have never been at such a place of peace in my life before and I have never felt closer to God and never heard Him like I have in the past couple weeks.. but I do know that I never want it to stop. I am praying everday that this is the building of my foundation and not just something temporary.