The Fog

Sunday morning I was driving back to Cookeville from Smithville. I had spent the weekend with my family at my dad's new lakehouse. It was the most meaningful drive of my life.

I've been struggling a lot in my life recently. It's not so much that the world has come crashing down or anything, but that I have. It's not the kind of crashing where you need the shock treatment to keep me from dying or something, but more like a degenerative disease that will slowly kill you without healing and treatment.

Now don't just stop reading and think I'm a psycho path, because I'm not literally saying I'm diseased or something... but I think all of our hearts are on one level or another.

Anyways, so I was driving. The leaves were so beautiful. Some trees were completely orange, some yellow, some deep red, some brown and dying, some still lush green. It was reminding me how God makes everything beautiful in its own time.

As I pulled out of the driveway, there's a massive downward, then upward hill. The fog was so heavy, I couldn't see a thing in front of me. I turned on my lights, I slowed down, I put on the defrost... nothing helped. The fog just sat there, paralyzing me from speeding off the way I was hoping.. you know.. driving so fast and feeling the wind blow and just forgetting about "life" and just enjoying the moment.

It hit me just as hard as the fog did. I can't see a thing in front of me. On the road, and in life. I try so hard to just drive faster and just get through it, and forget that I don't even know where I'm going... it could be off a cliff for all I know. I know that God did that on purpose.

He sees the road, but He only reveals so much when the time is right. The only job we have is to slow down enough to let Him show us where we go next.

I'm relying on His grace everyday, hoping and praying for the changes to eventually begin.